|
__:: my letters to
you
:: [ ary ] |
|||
|
..the reason why im still in all this - :: exhausted from everything - once everything is over i dont see how - :: sweetest dreams. love, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:49 PM ah.. finally got the time to blog - tapestry was okay i guess.. yeah. we could do much much better.. i dont know why i kept missing the notes. bloody hell its so unlike me - =/ :: lotsa things been happening since i'd last blogged - exams are nearing, study break's finally here - have to start mugging havta havta havtaaaa- :: wonder how's you doing.. =) fine i hope~ =) :: haiz. i missyou~ withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:36 PM wah eff. im freaking tired. been quite some time since i blogged her aye- :: tired of running around doing nothing avoiding stuff hearing what people say feeling like shit sometimes i just want to scream - but you cant always do what you want yeah? :: what the hell is wrong with me.. went jammin' BMC just now. just cudnt get the sounds right. dont know why - :: thanks la eh. i dont think i need anymore pushes. just stay out of my face. dont know what to write. so i'll just spill :: tired. drained. need sleep. what you dont know wont hurt you. legs aching. stressed exams. slap you in the face. getting on my nerves. debts chasing. trying not to feel. wanna say hi. but then dont want. dont tell me. i dont want to know. cute? insulting me issit? doesnt matter if i have ONE eye. why the fuck do YOU care? restricted. caged in. concrete block. what else? :: till next time, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:40 PM gosh. i feel so freaking sleepy. haven't got a wink of sleep since yesterday. been rushing around whole of sunday and my eyes are starting to hurt. :: overnyted with her yesterday at cb.. got edev (or most of it) into my head.. haha~ by five i couldn't take it anymore so stoned~ i missed ya you noe~ =) :: today. urgh. running everywhere.. from airport to home, to tamp, to back home to bugis, then to class.. the metal band was okay substance' there.. :: oh yes, whoever's reading this, MODUS OPERANDI got into TAPESTRY05' please come down and support us yeah? DATE : 28th Sept 05 (this coming sun guys.) TIME : 2pm's our slot. come earlier yeah? VENUE: FAR EAST PLAZA :: damn. you dont have to go ya noe~ =) i like things the way they are~ really i do.. still have you there rite? love ya. :: kak, dont worry. i have a grip on myself. trust me. loveya. :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:09 PM hmm. i've guess you've seen the ugly side of who i am. i can't define that side but yeah. i've guess you've seen it. and i guess you've had enough. :: they stick by me. they know somehow what i go thru. they know, and they feel. thats why, thats why. they dont hate. they observe. different. :: it has been a chore hasn't it? one eye, but i still can see. hurt, but i still can feel. tell me what i need to hear. or i'll forever be stumped. :: well.. yeah.. i guess i'd just fade away. Theres no need to say sorry, coz im in the wrong aren't i? Theres no need for goodbyes, they're bullshit, im sure you agree. :: i've given up. you dont have to do whatever you normally do when i was still there. :: withlove, ary- [too good to be true wasnt it?] ary - skidded off the path @ 7:59 PM hmm~ you know, know your limits. yes. we're friends. but dont ever step on my head. you've never seen me blow up. you will soon if you dont give me some basic respect. :: lunch on monday, movies on tuesday. =) :: i think im gonna go off soon.. wait for you too long ah dear.. :: i think this zul guy has some fetish for calling me. he keeps on calling me every night to remind me that sunday we're jamming. its getting freakignirritating. he just called me and said "eh. bukbuk,what you wearing on sunday ah?" -__-" mofo. :: i'm gonna tread carefully this time. very carefully. loveya. :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:58 PM the simplest things can make me smile. the simplest words, actions. like they say, actions and words, even the simplest of em, they mean alot. :: haiz. thats my point. thats why im tired of talking coz nobody sees it the way i do, whoever does. thank you. :: love, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:54 PM yep.. lets just say im in the middle of this open field. anyone can come whisk me away. whilst stocks last. but just make sure- :: love, look me in the eye. and tell me still, - :: thanks ria,aini,man. for dragging me out. you guys made me feel alot better. - i just dont know why i keep on going around in circles. sometimes the backseat is just so fucked up you feel like walking out the door - and mind you, this applies to everything. relationships, family, friends, loved ones, :: soon i hope, love, look me in the eye, and tell me still - anyone. anyone. :: with love, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:01 PM something just stinks in this house. but i can't put a finger on it. certainly not me coz i just showered. =/ :: spent a good part of the day at the airport. overnyted with her to study. but my eyes cudnt take it anymore. im sorry - went home, and back to the airport. this time alone. imagined, thought. - have you ever wondered what it would be like, to leave behind people close to you? who would come to sincerly hug you goodbye? who would really miss you? who would would feel the pinch of your absence? who really does care? i wanted to make a list. but decided not to. what matters is theyre happy,agreed? even with or without your presence. :: as i turn in tonight, im not sure what tomorrow brings. i dont want happyness. not yet. i want awnsers that'll solve all the questions in my head. :: withlove, ary- kiss me goodbye ] ary - skidded off the path @ 12:22 AM ary, do you realise? you expect too much. for goodness sake. you're just near stupid you know? ary, dont you realise? that you're just- ary , ary, ary. you have to get that in your head. that way, you wont expect too much ary. that way, you wont be let down often enuf to hurt. that way, you wont think. ary, dont you realise that what you expect, even the least of it....... you dont know alot of things ary. you dont realise alot of things. you, ary. [_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ] thats what you are. you understand? ary, ary, ary wake up. the world evolves around you. it keeps changing. keep up with it. learn to harden yourself up..... learn to let go. learn to fuck off. you,ary. have to learn alot of things. coz bro, realise. YOU LOSE. :: withlove. ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 12:49 AM ..today was just.. bullcrap. woke up on the wrong side of mybed. she was bloody shouting at me to wake up. fuck- i can wake my own fuckin self up. had 'lunch'.. alah what ever la. fucking fucked up to update. :: say, i remember. when we used to sit. :: withdissapointment, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 12:29 AM haha~ i like how today is progressing- presentation went just fine.. got free fags from jack! haha~ - here i go , so dishonestly, leave a note, for you my only one - listening to that song and just smiling to myself. haha i love you! and you and you and you! -meeeooowwwwwww- haha~ yessa! =D :: withmuchlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:50 AM the fireworks yesterday. nice - :: phrases of berhenti berharap lingering in my head - aku tak percaya lagi dengan apa yang kau beri - aku pulang, tanpa demdam, ku terima, kekalahanku. kau berikan aku bahagia, kau ajarkan aku derta - :: im going to be late for school if these fuckers dont wake up and give me my bloody resources for the presentation. :: if its still there - show yourself - :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 8:13 AM ...for making time to drop by and see me. i miss you,still. haiz - =) :: im in love with BM's mixer. dont ask me why,im just in love with that thing. :: still missing. i want to find it quick. help me - :: you, come hug me. quick - :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 3:41 PM =) im grateful. im sorry i looked at it only one way- biased i may say. didnt think i weighed out the situation. i assumed you were happy =) you seemed happy. all you ever wanted wasnt it? oh well. i assume too much yeah? =) :: part time sound engineer. sounds cool. =) contented. thres only one thing missing... -meow- :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:50 PM :: we did, or rather. i did. didnt i?
or shuld i say, "i" ? :: thank you. with love, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 11:47 PM haha~ somehow the title does not have any particular relation to this entry. but hey. im stuck beside ria. haha ~ and thats a good thing rite? haha~ and ria's looking at me blog. and aini banyak cakap ah - (dahla lagik sikit drown smalam) :: so you want a proper entry huh? hmm.. days been okay. friends around me. man. she's cute. -meooowww- went over to pahlawan. more good stuff than bad. haha~ just love the people around me. true friends dont run do they? :: withlotsalove, ary- [kill me, unbury me. incarnate me] ary - skidded off the path @ 4:12 PM whatever. dont bother me. i just wanna live each day day by day. stop asking me hows who i dont want to awnser dont remind me. of what was. stop asking. coz i'll just blow. yeah im smiling but dont nudge me. dont put salt in the wound. coz the venom's still flowing. and those of you who love to critisize, fuck off. :: withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:47 PM haiz.. nevermind. somethings are just better for me not to know. :: went cmpb, met up with tya,aini,ria,sham. =) thanks guys.. made the day happening =) :: tired. just so drained. withlove, ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 9:51 PM |
|||
:: skud silent screams :: me i_c_3@hotmail.com :: you Sometimes,
you think you know so much about me. You think you finally did break the
silence. Think again. Im not that simple. |
|||