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__:: my letters to
you
:: [ ary ] |
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In the end when im finally set free No one knows where i stand so cold, And everything will be okay, come behold. :: sugarspiceeverything. im gonna go run off now. will polish you up later, sweetheart. lick those frets bebeh. :: ary - skidded off the path @ 7:46 PM i can finally tie my hair NEATLY. no more frayed edges no more clown look no more afroman. shit i sound like a girl. :: im freaking tired of hearing you babble ur stupid nonsense. you think you're the only one in the whole freakin world whos going thru shit? you think just because im younger than you i dont know what you're going thru? fuck you. people 4 years younger than you has been thru worst shit than you. you think the whole world is crashing down on you this very moment? eff you. if you were to go thru what we went thru, you'd prolly jump off and die ur stupid painful death u always wanted to. go ahead. i dare you. and i'll laugh as you die your slow painful death. :: cheers. ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 10:41 PM gigging today. TJC was a blast. normal cockups but boy did i have one helluva time. TPJC was felt. Like, god knows how it feels everytime the sticks hit the drumset. minus the rushing around, everything was okay =) :: sis, hang in there kae? love ya =) :: i made a new friend today. and i think she's nice. =) :: im too tired to say or do anything. i just wanna fuck myself to sleep. can? :: cheers- ary ary - skidded off the path @ 6:12 AM :: long day , long long day ::
Two gigs tomorrow.. lucky they're school based. two sets at TJC , one at TPJC ones an open house event , the other some runway show.. my hands are gonna die. and i predict drumsticks are gonna fly. and yeah. its gonna be a long day tomorrow =/ :: this girl dropped by the studio earlier on. just. wow- haha *shakes head* :: i want you to know that, i miss you, i miss you so. watch me fade away watch me fade away ever so slowly. :: it eats into me. not being able to watch the sun set. not being able to know whats happening out there. to be stuck in there from morning till night. to not be able to do anything else. but its my own doing. my own desicion. im not ready. im just not ready. :: i need more friday clothing. :: and i miss you i miss you so freakin much. =( :: ary sadcheers- ary - skidded off the path @ 1:05 AM dear me, i've been having weird dreams for the past few nights. multiple weird (not wet tho) dreams. i dreamt i was sitting with imah outside this detention facility. awaiting our turn to enter the building. Somehow when we finally got in , it was more of a resort than a detention facility. like, shangrila combined with the boys home. Everything was regimental tho. There was pt, breakfast, lockuptimes, everything you would expect in a detention fac. it felt so fcukin real i didnt wanna wake up. i did tho , puzzled and disturbed somehow. the second night i dreamt i was at genting highlands, the big hill where theres the boat ride. but this time everything was pitch black and i faced this door that led to this dark cave. i entered the door and somehow it became a 'game' where i had to run to catch the last train home. (corny i know) so yeah, i ran. up the staircase into a room that looked like it came right off the set of a horror flick, with cobwebs , half broken wooden doors, rays of light just shining thru the window. i contined running, this time down a flight of stairs where i came into a room. This room had 4 fresh muslim graves. They were stack like bunk beds , with the dead bodies tied up in acid white and left to lie ontop of their respective graves. i retraced my steps and then i ran back into the room from the horror flick set, only to find the walls closing in on me bit by bit. i woke up at the last minute, sweating, disturbed and confused. The third night. the same dream as the first, only that before i got into the building i turned to imah and said "i promise we wont go back in there ever again." this time i woke up feeling irritated. i want to know whats causing this. coz i dont get these kinda dreams often.. :: i wanna dream again. that same dream. i just know theres something behind it. finding out. i just wanna find out. ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 1:42 AM :: Past. A part of my future ::
i look at the whole picture. i see everyone moving so fast it makes my poor head spin. i stand by the sidelines. watching as you whizz by in a blur. :: You stepped in at one point of my life. and then , without a word, You stepped out at another. Like how the others have done. e v e r y s i n g l e t i m e . Only this time im too numbed to react. You tore open old wounds, Old memories back in my head you've bring forth. It has always been there. that concrete block. Right in front of me, Mocking me, Stopping me. Always there. Since God knows when. :: Theres no need for you to hold me close Theres no need for you to whisper into my ears Theres no need for you to say hello Theres no need for you to be here Not anymore. I dont remember dates. I dont remember events. I dont make an effort to. Not anymore. why should i? why fuckin' should i? i give up. this time,its for real. fuckers. ary - skidded off the path @ 1:43 AM im getting tired. from preventing this one from slipping away. its slowly eating into me but theres just so much that i can do. its taking my last breath away from me. its drawing the last drop of blood from my wounds. its making me shed my last tear. await the day i fall onto the cold hard floor, exhausted, not being able to get up. :: -shuts eyes- -takes a deep breath- -opens- shit. its still here. :: now you know how it feels. to be weighed down by countless emotions, countless expectations. countless responsibilities. driven to the point where you cant hold it in anymore. every single moment you keep it hidden within. every single smile , you fake. its tearing you from the inside. slowly, but surely. and theres nothing you can loving do about it. :: Mocked. Laughed at. Pushed around. It all seems like a big, stupid game. until you find yourself in my shoes. i wont mock you. i wont laugh at you. i wont push you around. not like you. :: You think you know me. But you sure as hell dont. :: cheers- ary. ary - skidded off the path @ 2:24 AM im getting tired. from preventing this one from slipping away. its slowly eating into me but theres just so much that i can do. its taking my last breath away from me. its drawing the last drop of blood from my wounds. its making me shed my last tear. await the day i fall onto the cold hard floor, exhausted, not being able to get up. :: -shuts eyes- -takes a deep breath- -opens- shit. its still here. :: now you know how it feels. to be weighed down by countless emotions, countless expectations. countless responsibilities. driven to the point where you cant hold it in anymore. every single moment you keep it hidden within. every single smile , you fake. its tearing you from the inside. slowly, but surely. and theres nothing you can loving do about it. :: Mocked. Laughed at. Pushed around. It all seems like a big, stupid game. until you find yourself in my shoes. i wont mock you. i wont laugh at you. i wont push you around. not like you. :: You think you know me. But you sure as hell dont. :: cheers- ary. ary - skidded off the path @ 2:24 AM maybe i've set out on the wrong foot. maybe i've irked you soo bad you dont even wanna talk to me ever again. maybe u're sick of ol, boring me. maybe i've ruffled ur feathers too much. maybe it'll all end rite here rite now. or maybe, i think too much. yes? im still lost as of why its this way. nevertheless, got myself an L6. its a stylish, but stupid phone. now would you agree with me girl? shwini and khai dropped by the studio earlier. one helluva pair of luvbirds. no need to remind me im single whatttt.. and khai. mulut ko ehhhhhh ish. JINX Dropped by today. =) been a while since i last saw them ah. theyre good. really. =) and who said girlbands dont rock? :: interesting exchange. me : whyd you think it happened? him : you have to be subtle. me : like how? him : like, dont act cute. me : but you fucking act cute! him : thats coz i AM cute. -____-"" :: my phone feels like a pancake in a condom =/ :: hana giler! and rabiah hilang. =s :: cheers - ary - skidded off the path @ 9:58 PM im just.. not in the mood. haiz. homesick. homesick. homesick. =( ary - skidded off the path @ 1:26 PM :: Getting sick of this each day ::
im still stuck at the studio. i miss my family. i miss my life. im just not ready to get stuck in the studio its like, i've exchanged my life for this. im gettin cranky often im bottling things inside more i can just go berzerk. :: all i want to do right now, is to go home. to finally get home, rest in my bed, and set things right again. i want to take a break. everythings happening too fast for me too handle too many things following me haunting me, watching my every move. i cant feel at ease now. seek solace from God? all words no actions. just wanna get home. homesick homesick homesick. :: no matter how hard i try to deny this, i love my mom. no matter how she puts me thru hell, thru shit, thru everything. im not so tough after all am i? :: i need you right now. just say hello and tell me everything would be alright. but would i ever hold you in my arms? :: urgh. ary - skidded off the path @ 2:40 AM :: now im really grossed out ::
doesnt the title say it all? haha rabiah! hello. :: i like free slutty entertainent! dont you? especially if the free slutty entertainment is ____________________________!!! disgrace isnt it bro? oh i can picture you nodding your head man. and now you're shaking ur head ah. same ol' same ol. :: some stuff around here doesnt change. ever. :: i like you. alot =) like really really alot. howwwweevverrrrrr - *drumrolls* i cant have you =/ can i? once bitten twice shy i guess. manipulation is the best form of disgrace? call it karma, i call it ___________________. :: hahahaha none of you understand this post. hearsay hearsay read between the lines, my friend. now lets go play fill in the blanks. :: cheers - ary - skidded off the path @ 3:50 AM *looks at you in disgust* Oh hell you still continue to disgust me. just like a slut. saper makan chilli terase pedas ah. my blog i choose what to write. f*ck off if u dont like what i say. i've got enuf of you backstabbing me. You mess with me im gonna fu*king mess with your head. and i daresay im quite good at that, m*the*fu*ker. :: Urgh. Some people continue to irk me, although its been awhile since i last saw or heard from that person. oh what to do what to do. i cant care less. cant care less,unless you so much as lay a single finger on me. or even if i ever breathe a single whiff or ur scent. you have never seen me raise my fist. no one has. but that doesnt mean i wont. coz im sick of pulling strings and smiling. :: press conference tomorrow.. aegyptie.. im slowly starting to get sick of everything. i wanna go back to camp. i wanna go back to wearing that sleek number3. crazy ol me. :: ary ary - skidded off the path @ 10:36 PM that i wanna be there with open arms? :: you know, i dont really know where im heading in life. im tired of wandering around. i have to get my act together quick. real quick. :: whatthehell. ary - skidded off the path @ 3:01 AM Can't you see that I wanna be there with open arms It's empty tonight and I'm all alone Get me through this one :: No im NOT in love or something.. its just the song its freakin nice. isnt it? =) :: I want you to know that, i miss you, i miss you so.. haha no one. no one in particular. get that? :: i've stepped out of my shoes. gotta think properly now. not like some seventeen yr old fucker going around wearing his heart on his sleeve. :: ary- ary - skidded off the path @ 5:50 PM |
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:: skud silent screams :: me i_c_3@hotmail.com :: you Sometimes,
you think you know so much about me. You think you finally did break the
silence. Think again. Im not that simple. |
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